Have you struggled with loving yourself? Do you judge yourself for destructive habits that don't seem to go away? Fear not. There's an answer!
I listened to this short meditation, below, and cried some tears for behaviors that have followed me all my life. I saw me as a little girl coping with abuse and could see where these harmful behaviors originated.
I must thank my father for teaching me about compassion. Not because he was a compassionate person——but because he was NOT a compassionate person.
As a 5 year old, he ordered me to kill a baby mouse that stood, petrified, in front of me. I was holding a shovel while helping my father in the yard. I cried and could not kill the mouse. My father grabbed the shovel out of my hand and killed the little baby mouse, punishing me for being weak. To this day, I remember the mouse and the traumatic experience. This meditation brought back the memory and helped me to understand some of my behaviors—good and bad.
Watching my father hunt and kill beautiful animals, beat our dogs and whipping me and my little brothers and sisters taught me coping skills that no longer work for me. It weakened me, taught me to distrust those that should love me….but also gave me strength. (Now I'm a vegan and will not tolerate abuse to any living being).
I'm way too old to blame my parents for their actions. However, it's never too late to seek out inner healing from meditations. I've forgiven my parents for their abusive behavior. They no longer have control over me or my actions.
I hope you will listen to this meditation often and benefit from it. It's only 11 minutes long. Forgive yourself for the past and know that you did the best you knew how at the time. This meditation will guide you to go deep into yourself and have self-love and strength.
Please leave your feedback / comments / suggestions below. Thanks so much!